Antonshöhe, nestled in the West Ore Mountains of Saxony, was where my little granny lived from the early 1950s.
“Pain forces even the innocent to lie.” Publilius Syrus
A Guardian of the Innocent
Do you know who you are if someone asks you? You’d probably answer with your name. But do you know the meaning behind it or why it was given to you? Is it a family tradition, or does it make you feel like you don’t quite fit in?
My little granny lived in the West Ore Mountains, near the Czech border, from the early 1950s until she passed away. That place felt like it had no past. People, often mothers with their children whose husbands and fathers were either dead or imprisoned after WWII, came there from all over the newly formed German Democratic Republic to leave their pasts behind and start fresh.
Starting fresh usually means accepting the past to live fully in the present. But these people wanted to forget. They buried their pasts, hoping no one would ever ask them about it. They thought their younger selves would never come back to haunt them. But there is a fine line between thinking you know, and actually knowing.
When I was born, I came into a world with no memory of the past. “Don’t wake sleeping dogs!” they said. But I was curious and daring. What happens when you wake sleeping dogs? Now I know—they get irritated, angry, and frustrated. They wanted to forget instead of accepting the past as a gift for living in the Now.
I often heard, “Why do you want to dig up the past?” or “Leave the past in the past.” My curiosity made them uncomfortable, as if I were touching a forbidden fruit. Asking about the past was like breaking a taboo, and it could get me rejected or punished.
The past comes back every day. It can be treated as a gift if we let it, or it can be rejected, causing more unnecessary pain. I always felt like this because I dared to ask questions. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. As a guardian of the innocent, I protect the most vulnerable from the pain others before them experienced. I want to stop people from repeating the same mistakes, even if I know they have to make their own experiences.
We are all gifts when we enter this world, innocent and ignorant of the past. But we need to learn about it to avoid repeating it. We need to wake up every day, remember yesterday, and embrace a new beginning with hope and joy. We should be grateful for what we’ve created and what we can build for those who come after us.
Being a guardian of the innocent means facing the past, not hiding from it. It’s about making sure we learn from it to create a better future. So when someone asks who I am, I don’t just give my name. I am a seeker of truth, a challenger of silence, and a keeper of history. I am a guardian of the innocent, ensuring that the lessons of yesterday help shape a brighter tomorrow. Embracing our past gives us the strength to forge new beginnings filled with acceptance and gratitude.
DD
Anyakara
Such beautiful storytelling pulling me thorough until the final words. So much resonated with my soul but particularly the opening gambit: “Do you know who you are if someone asks you? You’d probably answer with your name. But do you know the meaning behind it or why it was given to you? Is it a family tradition, or does it make you feel like you don’t quite fit in?” Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us 🙏