Little Granny’s Resilience

“Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up.” Mary Holloway

Little Granny’s Resilience: A Tribute on Her Birthday

Today, July 14th, would have been my little granny’s 96th birthday. Born in 1928, she passed away in her early 70s after enduring frequent hospital visits due to failing kidneys exacerbated by years of heavy smoking. Despite her physical decline, her mind remained remarkably sharp. We knew her time was limited once dialysis was stopped, as her body began to poison itself from within until she peacefully passed away in December 1999.

My brother and I fondly called her “little granny” because of her petite stature, especially compared to our paternal grandmother, whom we nicknamed “big granny.” Ruth, as I remember her, was kind and gentle, though she often showed favoritism towards my brother. I felt overshadowed and unseen, longing for the unconditional love and acceptance I craved but struggled to receive from her. Understanding her upbringing sheds light on this – her mother never wanted her, and she grew up feeling unwanted, a feeling that echoed through generations, affecting my own sense of belonging.

Her story is marked by hardship; born out of wedlock with rumors of a Jewish father in late 1920s Germany, she faced stigma and neglect. Women in our family endured similar struggles, reflecting societal norms where boys were prized over girls, who were expected to marry and care for the home. Despite this, little granny found solace in books during World War II, escaping the harsh reality that shaped her resilience.

Her health battles later in life mirrored her emotional ones. Despite her challenges, I cherish the moments we shared, even though our bond was strained by her inability to express affection openly. I recognized this as a pattern passed down, prompting me to navigate my own journey of self-acceptance and forgiveness.

Her passing left a void, yet her words before she died – urging me to be strong – resonated deeply. They affirmed my strength, rooted in embracing vulnerability and authenticity, qualities I cherish despite the family’s struggle to understand them.

As I honor her memory today, I reflect on her legacy of resilience and growth. Her life taught me that strength isn’t just physical but also emotional, cultivated through confronting generational wounds with compassion and grace. In remembering her, I celebrate her enduring spirit and the lessons that continue to shape my own journey. ❤️

DD